Digging the Desfrutar
On taking time and savoring the moment
Desfrutar-ing with two fascinating women in Portugal
I’ve been in Portugal for just under two weeks and am finding it slo-o-o-ow. Which I’m savoring! And as it turns out, there’s a Portuguese word for what I’m experiencing: desfrutar. It essentially means to savor or relish. It seems emblematic of the Portuguese approach to life.
My first desfrutar experience was at the hair salon. Silvio spoke no English; I spoke no Portuguese. Didn’t matter. Through pantomime we figured out what I wanted. The next two hours were like no hair treatment I’d ever had. It was as though my locks were like nothing Silvio had ever encountered and held great fascination for him. He paid acute attention to applying the color, gave a gentle scalp massage along with the shampoo, reverently trimmed my layers, and finished the treatment with a slow and careful blow dry. Desfrutar!
I had a similar experience with Nicky, the Thai masseuse, who with her practiced hands somehow intuited the particular quirks of my musculature and gently found ways to alleviate stiffness and soreness. And with Joao, the optician, who spent an hour checking my eyesight, asking good questions about my lifestyle and how I use my glasses, and talking through options for new lenses that best fit my prescription, persona and budget, all while holding pleasant banter in definitely passable English. Desfrutar!
Friends who live in Portugal remark on how desfrutar shows up in the way Portuguese linger over meals with friends and family or indulge in unhurried enjoyment in parks or public squares. It also shows up in work culture, where flexible hours, long lunch breaks, and an emphasis on family time are fundamental to work ethos. This brings its share of frustrations to those (like us non-Portuguese) not accustomed to this type of desfrutar, who would prefer that deadlines are met and promises kept in a more timely way (like when getting plumbing fixed or visas approved). I’ve heard that Portuguese are generally not motivated by money or other external incentives. That they’d prefer to engage in desfrutar rather than achieve a bonus, make a sale, or meet a deadline. This mentality will keep this country on the lower end of economic success. It may, though, keep it higher in everyday moments of joy than other places.
I wonder what lessons the rest of the world – including school leaders - can learn from this notion of desfrutar. What if we were motivated less by specific outcomes -- like grades, scores, bonuses, accolades, deadlines -- and more by the inherent fascination with a topic, person, moment? What if we gave ourselves and those in our community time to thoroughly explore and savor what captures our attention? What might that reveal, or allow?
In an ideal world, this needn’t be an either/or. Sometimes, yes, we just need to get stuff done. Incentives, consequences and deadlines help. Other situations might lend themselves to a more desfrutar approach. We can agree on purpose/ objectives, set a general framework and timeline for achieving those, and allow space for how that happens, with room for veering off course and a check-in process for coming back on track or agreeing to explore new possibilities.
That’s the approach to leadership development we take at Sidecar Summits. Yes, we have a framework, a theme, planned sessions and activities, desired outcomes. And we follow the flow of energy and shift direction when that seems worthy of the moment. We take time and space to indulge in deeper conversations, explore issues more fully, pay close attention to one another’s experiences/ points of view/ insights. We veer off course sometimes when the will of the group suggests this is a fruitful detour. And we savor moments of reflection, connection, and revelation. All this in locations that reinforce a desfrutar ambience, with nature as a backdrop, good food as a sensory stimulant, and comfortable meeting and sleeping spaces to allow for relaxation and receptiveness to learning from and with one another. Desfrutar!
While Sidecar Summit Portugal 2025 is now at capacity, we’ve still got 7 spaces left for Sidecar Summit Cambodia, taking place in Siem Reap from January 22-25, 2026. And 8 spaces for Sidecar Summit Ghana, scheduled for March 29-April 1, 2026 at a beachside location near Accra. Early bird deadline for both summits is September 30. Save your spot and $200, and get ready to savor the desfrutar approach to PD. (Contact me if you have questions or want to know what previous summiteers have to say about their experience.)
For more information and registration opportunities for these summits, visit this link.
Yours in appreciation of slo-o-o-ow savoring,
Bridget
